Posts Tagged 'single'

THE THORNS AND ROSES OF BEING SINGLE AND MARRIED

Me, lalai and my sister. All singles!

Me, lalai and my sister. All singles!

In a marriage conscious society like ours, single hood is often compared to a malignant cancer that sends a horrifying response among individuals. Society dictates that a normal human being must be married no matter how complicated the situation is. Well, for idiot individual maybe this is true. But if your senses are intact, walking in the path of marriage unprepared is like walking in a landmine filled area. Everyday is like a blasting.

But there are people who really succeeded in torturing other people’s minds, I was not an exemption. Years ago I was surrounded with lunatic people that when I turned 30 the silly idea of single hood had sink horribly in my brain, I increasingly became erratic and edgy. The 30 figure alone terrifies me, as if I saw a serial killer and I will be the next victim. I was like a menopausal horse; I easily irritated, threw tantrums every 5 seconds of the day and flared up with no apparent reason.

But what is in single hood that makes every human being nervous? Is it a shocking fact to remain single for the rest of our lives? Or are we just pressured by the society to take the plunge? Just like marriage, single hood has its thorns and roses, the thorny situation in marriage is when problems burst up (which according to them, a normal thing to happen in any married couple) triggering a constant row that may resulted sometimes into a heated, emotional encounter, but there are thorns in married life that are impossible to imagine like those physically abusive partners, infidelities and financial difficulties.

For single individual, financial matter is not really a big thing. The thorny issue for singles is the constant battle of emptiness which lays on the emotional side of life, though it could be overcome with outdoor activities and winding up with friends, it still persists as days gone by. Marriage has lots of thorny stages compared to singles. Married people smell roses when fulfillment and contentment can be felt, the joy of motherhood and being a devoted wife, when waking up each morning knowing that they had partners whom they can share and talk with and spend the rest of their lives watching the sunset. There will be abundant supply of roses for single people also, the enormous value of freedom and the thoughts of having no other person meddling life, singles can go anywhere without thinking somebody might disapprove. There are lots of contradictions between marriage and single hood, it is hard to conclude which state is more convenient and more fulfilling, the most important thing is you know how to comfortably embrace each step you’ve taken and you know how to respond to every responsibilities attached whether you are single or married.

While marriage, to some people, is a happy state, it is not always a key to happiness. Couples who engaged in traumatic rows, infidelities and disillusionment are hardly an advertisement for happiness and satisfaction. Marriage is not a rest house or an assurance island when you want to escape from the harshness in life and want comforts. It is not a protecting arms and a loving machine when you are down or lonely and needed somebody to watch you crawl in bed in despair. It is an unconditional state where the two people gathered resources to make it work and spend the rest of their life watching how crazy butterflies danced in the backyard. Love is not enough, I bet, there’s a considerable amount of trust and respect you invest in order to go on with it.

Single hood on the other hand is another state, unfortunately this vocation treated by other with a cold heart. We leave in a very cruel environment where everybody expected to scramble in marriage no matter how difficult the situation is, a lot of crazy married individuals urged singles to trap themselves in marriage like them, they are engrossed with their own silliness that lured you to take the same road with them. Our morbid society dictates us that single hood is a lonely state and that it is best to grip ourselves in marriage. But it is a choice, a freedom to make a decision and nobody has a perfect authority to sermon you about happiness and satisfaction and contented and God knows what else.

Well everybody wanted to get married. Of Course. But that decision should be drawn from personal choices and not because of influences. It will be very comfortable if you plunge into marriage because you choose it rather than pressured from other sources. The two has both ups and downs and both tricky when it comes to freedom and satisfaction issues but both shared a common denominator: SACRIFICE. It’s on how you make and treat the state of sacrifice that makes each status smoothly running without being freak towards the end of the day.

After all, there are marriages ended up in misery and single hood in happiness. Whatever it is, the most important thing to remember is how prepared you are to take both responsibilities. Positive outlook, good disposition and strong faith in God are the best weapon to dance the right step and sing the correct tune of life whether you are single or married. At the end of the day, it is still the best weighing point where to find your own happiness without bothering whether you put the right make up or wear the right shoes.

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